Mason Williams' original Them poems
Them Lunch Toters
How about Them Lunch Toters,
Ain't they a bunch?
Goin' off to work,
A-totin' they lunch.
Totin' them vittles,
Totin' that chow,
Eatin' it later,
But a-totin' it now.
Look at Them Lunch Toters,
Ain't they funny?
Some use a paper sack,
Some use a gunny.
Them food-frugal Lunch Toters,
Ain't they wise?
Totin' they lunch,
Made by they wives.
How to be a Lunch Toter?
Iffa may emote it,
Gitchy wife to fix it,
Go to work and tote it!
Them Toad Suckers
How about Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin'
Them green toady-frogs.
Suckin' them hop-toads,
Suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them leapy types,
Suckin' them plunkers.
Look at Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog-frogs
Sure makes'em happy.
Them huggermugger Toad Suckers,
Way down south,
Stickin' them sucky-toads
In they mouth.
How to be a Toad Sucker?
No way to duck it.
Gittchyself a toad,
Rare back and suck it!
Them M**** Goosers
Transcribed by Kate Scholberg
How about Them M**** Goosers,
Ain't they recluse?
Up in them boondocks,
Goosin' them m****.
Goosin' them huge m****,
Goosin' them tiny,
Goosin' them meadow-m****
In they hiney.
Look at Them M**** Goosers,
Ain't they dumb?
Some use an umbrella,
Some use a thumb.
Them obtuse M**** Goosers,
Sneakin' through the woods,
Pokin' them snoozy m****
In they goods.
How to be a M**** Gooser?
It'll turn ye puce.
Gitchy gooser loose and
Rouse a drowsy m****!
Return to the Macro Them poems
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