Grad Students Underground
(working draft -- needs polish)
(to the tune of Riders in the Sky)
A grad student vacationing in scenic Italy
Was driving through a tunnel near the Adriatic Sea
When all at once a massive pile of streamer tubes he passed
Reflecting pseudocumene spills
Aglow in radon gas
The CAMAC crates were black with soot, the toolchest was a wreck
The acquisition took place on computers made by DEC
And dirty creatures all around were pumping dirty oil
While eating fettuccini
From plates made of tin foil
Io non so
Io sbaglio
Grad students underground
Their eyes were red from sleepless nights, their lab coats smelled
like death
They're trying to get their thesis wrote but they ain't writ it yet
Until that time they're doomed to years of bored hanging around
Adjusting screws and gain setting
While two miles underground
Then suddenly they dropped their tools and down the stairs they ran
And hurried through a dark, wet hall to catch a dirty van
They shouted back for him to soberly amend his fate
Or he might join them in this hall
And never graduate
Io non so
Io sbaglio
Grad students underground
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